COMING 2019
Who wants their birth chart read? Yeahhhh I know uze fukn want it. Come on in! I got da answers.
Come on in, relax, take a seat, take a chill pill, chill out, grab a mat, take your jumper off, it’s warm in here. Kinky right? Mmmm yeh just hang out.
Follow Jeneane through her world as she deals with boiz, bitchez, lyf & luv: the highz & the lowz, the sunsetz & the cocktailz, the brunchez & the baggiez, the pilatez & the pingerz.
Kidding there will be absolutely no cocktails, brunch, pilates or baggies. She can’t afford that shit. She can afford pingers and YouTube yoga classes though, so there will defs be some of them.
'U have Uranus in Scorpio in the 4th house. Which pretty much means that your step-mum is really hot and it’s f*%ked you up.' Jeneane Morris
'U have Pluto in Libra in the 8th house. Which pretty much means your next pet will be an egyptian lizard and will always sit on the left window sill in your lounge room.' Jeneane Morris
'U have Mars in Capricorn in the 12th house. Which pretty much means you could have been an Olympic sprinter, but you weren't f*%ked with the training, so ur not.' Jeneane Morris
'Jeneane Morris’s birth chart readings always give me the most insane lease on life and feelings of clarity – I almost always end up in prison the day after having a reading with Jeneane, I don’t know what it is about her. She's a miracle worker or something. Highly recommend.' Stephanie Stonewaller, a long time client of Jeneane’s has had at least 17 birth chart readings.’